God often speaks to me through a lyric of a song I am listening too.  I am frequently finding Gods truths in soundtracks that accompany my day.  Its nearly always on the background; whilst I am lesson planning, cleaning and sometimes even when my class are getting on with work.  It is not uncommon for a line of a song to jump out and wrap itself round my heart.  And in the times without it, I find phrases spinning round my head.  In the business of life, when quiet times and bible study are hard to fit in, God finds me through music.

This week, God found me at a Brooke Fraser gig in Brighton!  It had been a particularly emotionally draining day at school, where I was let in on some heartbreaking situations that some of my students have been living with.  Normally as a teacher, you get to know snippets but in my new role I am privy to much more background information.  Its terrifying and unbearably sad.

As I got caught up in the music, a song that wasn’t a particular favourite, grabbed my heart.

“…Come, tell me your trouble

I’m not your answer
But I’m a listening ear

Reality has left you reeling
All facts and no feeling
No faith and all fear

I don’t know why a good man will fall
While a wicked one stands
And our lives blow about
Like flags on the land

Who’s at fault is not important
Good intentions lie dormant
And we’re all to blame

While apathy acts like an ally
My enemy and I are one and the same

I don’t know why the innocents fall
While the monsters still stand
And our lives blow about
Like flags on the land

I don’t know why our words are so proud
Yet their promise soothing
And our lives blow about
Like flags in the wind

You who mourn will be comforted
You who hunger will hunger no more
All the last shall be first
Of this I am sure

You who weep now will laugh again
All you lonely be lonely no more
I know the last shall be first
I know the last shall be first…”

I felt like God was reminding me that He knew what went on behind the closed doors and in the hearts of my students.  They may be used as if they are nothing, deprived and ignored.  Victims.  But that they will be comforted, they will laugh again and they are first in Gods heart.  I felt such a relief and such hope for all those that mourn and hurt.  It made me realise that I don’t necessarily have to understand why things happen or why people do certain things, but as I stood there in the midst of the music I prayed I would have Gods eyes.  I want to see more than these earthly eyes can.  I want to see behind behaviours and words and get to the heart.  I think it might be more painful if God gives me these insights but my hope is that I will learn more grace with others.  That I will become less judgemental and be able to love in a more real way.  I want my faith for what is unseen to be bigger than my fear.


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